AI Can’t Regulate Your Nervous System, but Integrated Intelligence Can

MEET DEFAULT INTELLIGENCE

It’s 6:30am. The alarm clock rudely buzzes you from a dream in which your mouth keeps filling with alarming amounts of purple chewing gum, no matter how many times you spit it out. You grope for the phone to silence the blaring BEEP BEEP BEEP, then promptly doze off again, tired because you stayed up late watching cult documentaries on Netflix. The second alarm instantly floods your body with a sudden anxiety that you’ll miss your first meeting. Dazed and confused, you grab your phone to check the time. 

Next thing you know, the “unread” alerts pull you into your screen. Teeth still unbrushed, you sit on the toilet checking your inbox and suddenly find yourself triggered by an unexpected email from a frustrated colleague saying they need to talk to you. “Oh God, make it go away.” To bury the feeling of YUCK rising up in your gut, you head back under the covers and decide to spend the next eleven minutes swiping through trending laugh-track videos on Instagram to self-soothe. All the while, some wiser part of you knows that the ideal thing to do is get some sun in your eyeballs, move your body and breathe like you said you would.

1,246 times.

By the time you’ve peeled yourself out from under the covers, brushed your teeth and washed your face, your kids are already requiring your attention and/or your first Zoom call of the day is starting. You join the meeting feeling a bit frazzled and slightly annoyed (mostly at yourself for donating your precious morning hours to the insatiable Zuckerberg machine). 

The trend continues throughout your day. You continually check your email and WhatsApp, half-paying attention to what’s in front of you. Why do you do that when you know multitasking makes you infinitely less productive? You do it because you’re seeking something that feels good. Something to focus you. To take your mind off the analyzer in your brain bracing yourself for the difficult conversation you need to have later. You know relief won’t be found in the subtle dopamine rush that comes from the never-ending stream of “pings” on your devices, but there’s nothing else to turn to other than chocolate chip cookies, so you let yourself feed off of those little boosters.

Then it’s time to have the conversation with the frustrated colleague. They express that something you did really rubbed them the wrong way. You feel yourself getting defensive. The tightness in your chest and gut make it almost impossible for you to receive what they’re saying. Hours after the conversation has ended, you obsess over all the things you could have cleverly retorted to strengthen your side of the story. Not even watching your favorite show on Netflix until 1:30am can distract you. 

The next morning at 6:30am, the alarm buzzes, and the cycle continues.

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This is an example of what Default Intelligence can look like in action. I call it “default” because it describes the normalized way of operating most human beings alive today have adopted - knowingly or unknowingly. 

The core themes governing this way of engaging with life are distraction, isolation, and fragmentation. Let’s take a look at each one:

• Distraction:

  As a society, we compulsively seek to fill a felt lack of meaning and/or the inability to meet our emotions with external sources of input. Endless streams of digital content feed endlessly off of this consumer mentality, almost permanently keeping us disconnected from some of our most powerful and nourishing intelligence systems, which can only be accessed through true presence.

• Isolation:

  Many of us (consciously or subconsciously) live in the collective illusion that we do not belong, and experience ourselves as separate from ourselves, others and life. This shows up especially when conflict arises, and we don’t feel equipped to engage with it in a productive way, thus furthering a sense of being alone and unable to meet the discomfort of our inner and outer reality.

• Fragmentation:

  Without realizing it, many of us experience ourselves as many different parts that exist independent of each other. Our head, heart and gut are often not communicating with each other, which leads to feeling cut off from receiving the wisdom of our spiritual self. Unprocessed aspects from our childhood are subconsciously making decisions for us, especially when we feel unsafe. 

So how to correct these chronic and systemic challenges we all face, with varying degrees of awareness?

Let’s first look at what a lived experience of Integrated Intelligence might look like in comparison.

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MEET INTEGRATED INTELLIGENCE

It’s 6:30am. You wake up naturally because your circadian rhythm is switched on. You’ve gone to bed before 10:30pm and your body knows it’s received enough rest. The first thing you do is place one hand on your belly and the other on your heart. You take a deep breath, intentionally calling yourself back into your body.

On your way to the bathroom you intentionally ignore the dopamine-seeking part of you urging you to check your phone, lying in the next room charging. Even if you needed to look at it to check the time, you wouldn’t see any notifications because it’s been on Do Not Disturb, and there’s no way you’re breaking your commitment to opening any apps. So no chance for distraction.

After you’ve brushed your teeth and washed your face, you go directly into your morning practice, which might include movement, breath-work, meditation, journaling or going outside. You purposefully override your logical mind's efforts to pull you into “what’s next” or problem solve residual material from the day before. In this sacred space of your personal practice, your breath and your body are the boss. To close, you set a clear intention for the day, and by the time you pick up your computer to check your emails, you feel grounded, open-hearted and clear.

Then you see the email from the frustrated colleague, and notice a trigger rising up in you, which you immediately relate to as a state of contraction, meaning, you are aware of your breath becoming more shallow and your belly tightening. The energy is constricting. YUCK. 

Good thing you know exactly what to do, which is feel.

You close your laptop to remove external stimulus, take a few deep breaths and really sit with what this contractive feeling is here to show you. Eyes closed, you tune into your Emotional and Intuitive Intelligence, asking to be shown what the opportunity is that’s available in this uncomfortable energy of conflict. 

You detach from any part of you that wants to create a story around this contraction, and instead simply let your breath start to relax it open.

As your contraction unwinds, insights arise, allowing you to see the other person’s perspective, and helping you understand why this is showing up right now. You notice your heart can open again. 

In the time leading up to the meeting, you are able to put the situation aside and focus on the tasks at hand.

Before entering into the difficult conversation with your colleague, you invite them to join you in setting the intention to actively listen to the other person’s perspective and make an effort to really hear them. You stay regulated by consciously keeping your jaw relaxed, your breath deep, and your body position open while they speak. After hearing them fully you share your perspective, taking ownership of the co-creation and explaining to them the source of your contraction. 

Through expressing and receiving each other’s truth, you find yourself creating more authentic intimacy. You leave the call feeling resolved, and are able to focus on the rest of your day with a genuine smile on your face. Before signing off your devices for the day, you send them a personal text saying how much you appreciate their presence in your life.

You fall asleep feeling peaceful and expanded.

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When you read the two versions of the same story, side by side, what do you feel? 

Perhaps just reading the second option created more space in your breath and body. I know it did for me when I was writing it.

So going back to the comparison, if distraction, isolation, and fragmentation are the themes governing Default Intelligence, I’d like to propose that the path of Integrated Intelligence is defined by meaning, connection, and integration.

• Meaning:

  When we have meaning, we live our days with a clear sense of who we are, why we’re here, and what matters. It becomes much easier to say no to the endless distractions vying for our attention when that inner compass is pointing toward our true north.

• Connection:

  How deeply we connect to self, others and life itself is ultimately what determines the quality of our lives, and the relationships within it. When connected to our own emotions, we can trust even the uncomfortable ones to contain crucial gifts with which to deepen intimacy. Connection isn’t taken for granted, but rather cultivated, like an art form.

• Integration:

  Integration is the ongoing practice of incorporating the many parts of ourselves that may have gotten suppressed somewhere along the way, back into wholeness. When we are operating from a state of inner integration, our intelligence systems are communicating with each other in a coherent and aligned way.

The path of Integrated Intelligence allows us to access the various types of intelligence available to all of us, including our original AI - Ancient Intelligence - and the many intelligence systems that make up our reality: intuitive, emotional, somatic, collaborative, environmental, and so many more. 

Like double clicking on a zip file, we can learn to “unlock” these dormant intelligence systems and call upon them to help guide us, especially in difficult moments.

Because there really are infinite intelligence systems available to us, it can feel overwhelming to know which ones to unlock and integrate. One way to simplify the idea is to divide them into two main categories:

ALPHA & OMEGA

Omega (Energetic & Intuitive) intelligence often provides a much needed counterbalancing of the dominant Alpha (Intellectual & Logical) intelligence currently privileged in modern culture. Because we live in such a mental paradigm, and are taught to believe all problem solving should come from the rational, linear mind, it’s very common for Omega Intelligence to contain the wisdom that is needed to resolve a challenging situation. Intuition originates from the body, the heart, and the spirit. It communicates through subtle feeling, not incessant thinking. Knowing how to tap into those sources of intelligence is invaluable, and remains a daily practice for me and the people I serve.  (I’ll share more about this framework in future posts).

IN SUMMARY:

Integrated Intelligence is more than a mindset, with an emphasis on integrating the information beyond the conceptual, into the somatic memory of our bodies so that it may become second nature. It can also be applied to relational dynamics such as romantic partnership, family members, teams, organizations, and communities.

The activation and integration of the various intelligence systems most humans don’t even know exist allow us to unlock the depth of insight, intimacy, and impact available to us in every moment. Over time, we can master the ability to “tune in” to the “infinite” intelligence that lies hidden within and beyond the five senses of our Default Intelligence. That’s when things get really fun.

Integrated Intelligence doesn’t (yet) provide a specific process or direct answers. Perhaps it will, once it develops into a full framework, but currently it’s more of an exploration that sits inside of our KAVANÂ Learning Institute.

I’d love for you to join me in this journey, and share you thoughts on the topic in the comments below. How do you relate to the examples of Default VS Integrated Intelligence? What else comes up for you? LET’S HEAR IT!

Love,

Azrya

P.S. The Integrated Intelligence Podcast will launch in 24 hours! Sign up for our newsletter at www.kavanaretreats.com to receive the first episodes!

The best way to support my writing is to share KAVANÂ the Retreat Center and Learning Institute with purpose-driven practitioners and event hosts who may be interested in hosting an experience.